Finding my inner zen…

…30 days at a time.

So, I hit a major life milestone last week: my dirty 30. The birthday I’ve been silently dreading for the last decade of my life. Why? I think I’ve always imagined waking up the next day, feeling a not-so-subtle shift in my life, a slow downwards trajectory in everything that I would do from that point forward. With the best years behind me, and no clear path in front of me, this was not a milestone I was ready to partake in.

As I glance through the posts from the early days of this blog, I remember the unencumbered freedom I felt in relaying my excruciating heartbreak and cluster-fuck of thoughts into this little corner of the Internet. I was so completely annihilated by the drive-by manner of the breakup I had just suffered, that I had no time to overthink the words pouring out from my fingertips, angrily clanging on the keyboard between big gulps of boxed wine and self pity.

It wasn’t perfect; it wasn’t even proof read most of the time; but it was 100% my authentic self.

I’ve tried starting up many blogs, numerous writing projects, since that time. But truthfully, I get overwhelmed with all the thoughts and ideas in my head, with no clear way to organize them. I hinted at this in my last post, starting off with the quote I oftentimes repeat to myself from the trenches of the corporate salt-mine: “I can do anything, but I can’t do everything.” Overwhelmed with choices, watching ghost ships of seas not traveled, tends to be very debilitating for a lazy perfectionist.

So this is why in my 30th year of life, I’ve decided to launch my new project. Each month, I will take on a new 30-day challenge, to conquer and develop habits in something I’m passionate (or want to be!) about. I’m hoping that this will take the decision fatigue out of the equation, and that each change will inspire and encourage the next.

And because I miss writing (but it also scares the crap out of me to do it on a regular basis), I am making a promise to document the journey, in a somewhat regular manner.

Oh. And my 30th birthday? One of the best days of my life.


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