How long does heartbreak last?

…11 months for me, apparently. That is precisely how long it took to get over Mr. B.

I’m no longer angry; no longer sad; no longer thinking about it. I no longer wish horrible things upon him. (Not even continued premature hair loss; although pretty sure there’s no stopping now…)

How did I get here? I believe a big part of it was a lot of introspection; pouring my soul out to kind strangers on the Internet; copious amounts of red wine; the Domino’s pizza app; an amazing network of close friends and family who never tired of reassuring me of my own sanity; and good old fashioned…time.

But there was also another integral part to this process…I got burned by someone else.

Nothing serious; nothing that will make a lasting impression on my life. But the momentary surprise and disappointment was more fresh in relation to the progressively dulling pain of the Mr. B saga. For the first time this year, another person became the source of my frustration.

When I took a step back from the situation, I realized that somebody besides Mr. B was capable of hurting me. Which means that somebody besides Mr. B is capable of making me feel happy. (Disclaimer: I don’t mean happy in the sense of needing someone to complete my life, but rather, complement my already pretty awesome life. And eat pizza with me.)

Life is pretty good. Stay tuned.

Current Status: not sure if I’m digging the new Adele album / ecstatic to not be working tomorrow / queuing up a TED Talks marathon

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8 thoughts on “How long does heartbreak last?

  1. Happily Unhappy says:

    This is great. Sometimes it takes a while, but eventually after a breakup no matter how long it takes one must realize life goes and they’re going to be okay. Good for you!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. DeeScribes says:

    I’m not digging the album, so don’t feel like you’re alone there. If you are watching TED talks, please watch the late, great Stella Young’s wonderful talk, “I’m Not Your Inspiration, Thank You Very Much.”Just because she’s fabulous and as we approach the one year anniversary of her death, I need to remember who fantastic she was and mourn the loss of her presence in the disability community.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Finding My Inner Zen says:

      Thanks, Dee! I have actually watched that one and enjoyed it immensely. I don’t consider myself an ignorant person by any means, but would say that my point of view really changed after watching it. Very sad to learn that she has since passed away. 😦

      Like

  3. suzannedavis11 says:

    Letting go (of relationships, of sorrow) is an amazing thing. It’s a control issue, and not allowing something or someone control your feelings is a true experience of freedom. Take a deep breath. Eventually, you will give yourself to someone again, but that is vastly different from being controlled by your feelings for someone. It takes practice, and that is what your interim relationship involved. Keep opening yourself to possibilities.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Finding My Inner Zen says:

      Thanks, Suzanne. It really is an incredible feeling. I would say there is a difference between giving yourself to someone versus letting someone control your feelings – waiting to find that happy medium! I am open and ready for possibilities, but also enjoying being independent and not relying on anyone at the moment! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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