In the spirit of lists, and my infinite love for them, here are some pearls of wisdom I managed to extract from getting drive-by dumped earlier this year.
- Wine is your friend. Choose your poison wisely; don’t abuse it. But rest assured that a glass of Merlot will never kick your ass to the curb.
- All those stupid sayings about time healing all are true. One day, you will wake up and the first thought on your mind won’t be that smug bastard. Let time do its thing; Pinterest quotes do not lie.
- Safety nets are key. Your friends and family are wiser than you ever knew. Let them share their stories; it feels good to know others have come out on the other end to be the functioning members of society you know them to be!
- Exercise is a lifesaver. Once you’ve gotten your snotty face out of your pillow and dragged yourself back into society, going out and getting your ass moving is crucial. Better to be sad and fit, than sad and wallowing in sweat pants.
- You will be overly cautious with every new person you meet for awhile – and that’s okay. Eventually, your faith in humanity will be restored. Not everyone is an asshole; don’t worry.
- It will feel like a giant kick to the stomach when you learn about your ex’s new flavour of the month. Avoid the urge to social media stalk, and you will be rewarded in time. Out of sight; out of mind. As trite as they may be, clichés are clichés for a reason.
- You will be more self-critical than you’ve ever been. Were my thighs too fat? Was I not charming enough? Smart enough? Funny Enough? No. No. No. No. Be kind to yourself. Don’t let yourself fall into this pattern of self-criticism. Life happens; people change; relationships end.
- Not forgiving someone doesn’t make you a bad person. Yes, you need to move on. But you don’t necessarily have to forgive the douchebag who had so little regard for you.
- Kelly Clarkson is the ultimate break-up song go-to diva. Because Of You. Never Again. Since You’ve Been Gone. Miss Independent. What Doesn’t Kill You (Makes You Stronger). Play it loud; play it proud. Sing at the top of your lungs. No shame.
- You shall love again (probably). Unless you decide to become a crazy cat lady instead. But chances are, once you have adequately grieved and healed, your heart will pitter patter again at the sight of a handsome stranger. Don’t be a bitter bitch; embrace it when it comes your way.
And, because you all know I love my cheesy/inspirational quotes, I will end on this note:
“One of the happiest moments in life is when you find the courage to let go of what you can’t change.”