Word vomit

Viva Las Vegas!

As you read this, I am cruising at 30,000 feet up in the air, somewhere between Toronto and Las Vegas, most likely sipping a stiff gin and tonic, and discreetly enjoying a cheesy rom-com on the tiny screen in front of me.

This idea came to fruition on a cold January night, as I exceeded my daily allowance of cheap merlot and self wallowing. I picked up my phone and drunk texted Miss E:

Miss E: Done!

People, that is what a best friend does. She does not question. She just goes with it. We booked our flight the next morning

Context: Mr. B was adamant about never stepping foot in Vegas; he would not even entertain the thought of going in the distant future. (For no particular reason, he was just a stubborn asshole.)

It only seemed fitting to book this trip as an official launch to my Year of Self.

My reader therapists, wish me luck on the tables! If you never hear from me again, I won a jackpot (or drank too many bottomless margaritas). Any suggestions for what I should do while in Vegas? Good eats?

Current Status: cursing my poor packing skills / binge watching House of Cards / never using self-tanning lotion again


13 thoughts on “Viva Las Vegas!”

  1. Okay here’s what you need to do:
    If you can make it happen, go see Cirque De Soleil’s Love show. It’s all set to Beatles music and I’ve never been but it’s on my bucket list so I’m bequeathing it to you.
    Also, depending on how many nights you are there, go to the concierge at whatever hotel B. Spears plays at (I want to say Hard Rock?) and like an hour before showtime tell them you were unable to get tickets. They’ll usually put you right up front to fill the seats for diiirt cheap. (You can actually do this for any show. I did it for Faith and Time and got to see how much they actually hate each other now up close and personal.)
    You HAVE to go see Frank Marino’s Divas. It’s a world famous drag show that is amazing. If you don’t sing at the top of your lungs to “I Wanna Dance With Somebody” when the Whitney Houston impersonator comes out, then you’re only shorting yourself. Also, try to make friends with the drag queens after. They took me and my best friend to a gay club after that was off the strip and we had the most ridiculous time. If it doesn’t work, don’t take it personally; I had the added benefit that my best friend is a hot gay dude.
    And there is a brunch at Paris that will make you reconsider ever wanting to not weigh 300 pounds.
    Have the greatest time. Be glad that you cut Mr. B loose so that you could go have some FUN without his lame ass. God speed. Report back.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. OH! And get a limo from the airport. You can find them for about the same as a cab (or can negotiate for that price) but they have hot tubs and champagne. Find two cute guys who need to share a ride to the strip. Invite them to join you. Split the fair. Pop the champange.

    Mr. B, who?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Vegas is so much fun! I don’t think it really matters what you do as long as you and your best friend have the time of your lives! Vegas has so much to offer. I didn’t really eat at many restaurants but I did go to as many shows as my money would allow. Hope you have a great time!


  4. YESSSSSSS!!!! Plan a little getaway, I believe that was one of my tips to get out of a rut and it will do you wonders!! Have so much fun…I haven’t been to Vegas in years so my tips are not current, but we went to a lot of day pool parties – Tao Beach, Wet Republic, some others I can’t remember. Ladies generally do not pay to get into places so make sure you get on some guest lists if need be. Oh yes, and the pool at Cesar’s is awesome!


  5. Have a great time! And if you feel the need to flutter, the Flamingo is the best place to learn how to play Blackjack. Careful though, gambling’s SO much fun – you’ll be writing a ‘how I quit the cards’ blog before you know it …


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