Post-Breakup One Week Mark: Back to the 9-5 grind.

I was lucky enough to have had some time booked off over the holidays. Well, on second thought, it may be too soon to use the term lucky without wanting to punch someone.

The original intention was to spend my time off having the time of my life with my incredibly thoughtful and loving boyfriend. Instead, as the story goes, I found myself laying in a fetal position at my parents’ house with only the company of my black, black heart and a rapidly-growing mountain of snotty kleenex.

Either way, I believed these extra few days off would allow me enough time to compose myself like the bad ass bitch I knew I could surely be, before returning – no scratch that – strutting, back into the real world. Instead, I was greeted by:

“How were your holidays? Was your boyfriend’s visit amazing? Why are you back early?”

I was in the bathroom stall by 9:30, hoping I remembered to put on waterproof mascara. (I didn’t.)

See, in my pre-getting-my-ass-dumped-by-a-major-douchebag existence, I was a very efficient and organized human being. I figured I could knock this whole process out of the way by the weekend, and spend my Friday night getting white-girl wasted and all like, “Mr. B, who? Single and ready to mingle!”.

Sitting in that bathroom stall, I realized that all the blog ranting, lamenting to my newly acquired group of WordPress therapists (in addition to my real-life pity squad), bottles of merlot and self-help books in the world weren’t going to expedite my grief process. Time takes time.

I’m not an idiot. I know I’ll eventually be okay. Just not today.

Current Status: curled up on couch / not out getting white-girl wasted / wishing Chris Evans was my baby daddy

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24 thoughts on “Post-Breakup One Week Mark: Back to the 9-5 grind.

  1. atiyarehman513 says:

    I’m so sorry for what happened, it isn’t fair to you. But you should know how powerful what you’re saying is – it’s okay not to be okay. That’s how you know you’re alive and how you know you will be okay. Time heals all wounds. Let time do it’s job. You will be okay with time.

    Like

  2. 1terriberry says:

    You’re right. It takes time. After this, you’ll be stronger, wiser and have a little more sass to yourself upon meeting new men. Or just more sass period. You’ll see. At least you haven’t called! Ten stars for that.

    Like

    • Finding My Inner Zen says:

      Oh, I don’t think I will be thinking about men for the next little while. Stay tuned for my next posts, I have a different idea in mind for myself for the next little while.

      But, when I am one day ready to get back on that horse, I will definitely have a lot more sass and a higher bar! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Divorce With Me says:

    Love your humor! And, yes, they say time heals all wounds but damn does the journey to the point suck.

    Oh and your heart is not black. It’s bright red. His heart is black and cold. You just have the black cloud over you. Trust me, mine is planted above my head and looks like it’s staying for awhile… So i’ve got my umbrella and galoshes. I’ll get you some as well. 😉 ☔️

    Liked by 1 person

  4. DeeScribes says:

    You’re right – time takes time, and it sucks. But continue to fill your time with friends and distractions. It will pass by faster than you think. Kudos for not reaching out to him!

    Like

  5. notbatty says:

    We’re all here with you, holding your hand. Keep breathing, you will get there. If it helps at all, reading your story and knowing I’m not alone in the ‘putting yourself back together’ stakes, has really helped me. So thank you for that x

    Like

      • Pete Deakon says:

        You’re located north of the border, right? Tease? You’re the one requesting a book and offering no help as to how to address the package… What if you’re the one reader who really, really gets me?

        Pete

        Like

        • Finding My Inner Zen says:

          Perhaps. It’s too new and fragile of a relationship to risk though. How could I ever retain my anonymity if I provided a postal code? I like to think of myself as Batman; I can’t risk being exposed.

          P.S. Only the Kindle version of your book is available on amazon.ca. I hate my Kindle with a passion.

          Like

        • Pete Deakon says:

          Okay. Try this site https://www.createspace.com/5186779 I have no idea how the ol’ world wide web works, apparently. I can’t believe there is a difference between our two friendly countries. Also, are you playin’ with me? You really bring up Batman? First post ever: http://petedeakon.com/2012/04/20/professor-batman/

          Pete

          PS – And if that’s not enough, check out this sad tale. I’ve been bouncing around jobs since leaving the Air Force. The last one was on an oil rig. My daughter starts talking about being a smurf for halloween, then something else and then a bat. I don’t think anything of it because she’s chosen a different costume nearly every week. Fast-forward to halloween. I’m on the rig. I get a picture from her mom of my daughter in the bat costume, doing this goofy pose, which her mom assures me was all the daughter’s idea. And in that moment, I realize that my daughter chose to be a bat because she knows I love batman. (Is there a tear emoticon thing?) Let’s just say of all the reasons I’ve used to quit a job, the reason for quitting the oil rig job was the most sound. 🙂

          Like

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